A Good Idea (Rimworld)
by ComradeAngel
Summary: Two towns. Two leaders. Several metric tonnes of radioactive waste.


Brian looked out across the vast canyon that he and several dozen others called home - the town of Shadow Rift. The walls of the chasm cast massive, dark shadows on one another throughout the day, giving shade that cooled what would otherwise be a scalding hot desert devoid of any life. The walls were dotted with inlets and caves, all of which were carved out by hand at some point or another, reminiscent of the archaic pueblo houses from ancient Terra, linked together by stairwells on the inside with several less than sturdy wooden rope bridges linking the two sides together.

These bridges were often inaccessible, unfortunately, as the chasm served as one massive wind tunnel, directing winds for miles through it, producing gusts that rivaled those of hurricanes. Although this meant that inhabitants had to either huddle inside or use underground passageways, it also meant that wind turbines were an extremely fruitful source of electrical power for Shadow Rift.

The all too familiar sound of explosions in the distance drew Brian's attention in the opposite direction - the direction of another town, some twenty miles to the west. The town of Radio Cavern. Nice folks - not bad folks at least; not the sharpest blades in the badlands, but certainly not stupid. Deadly, certainly.

At one point a group from Shadow Rift had attempted to steal potatoes from a farm in the RC, as Shadow Rift's rocky terrain didn't allow for much of anything to grow, forcing the town to trade for most of its food. After cutting through two layers of barbed wire and crawling over several defensive walls of sandbags, then avoided a handful of automated turrets, they had been spotted by a guard who happened to be handy with a sniper rifle. The area had been flooded in light from, well, flood lights as the guard opened fire and another man appeared waving a grenade launcher around. The group from Shadow Rift managed to escape with their lives, and the people of Shadow Rift had since learned that the people of Radio Cavern had blowing crap up practically coded into their DNA. Formal relations were established between the towns shortly after.

Brian fondly remembered his handful of trips to Radio Cavern - it was well named; a massive cavern carved into the side of a mountain from years of erosion had been built in, around, over, and under, transformed into a very much livable colony that received much of its power from the sun. One thing that had always evaded the inhabitants was the strange radio interference that often plagued the colony, which shortly after contact with Shadow Rift was revealed to be radiation from a massive deposit of uranium. He wondered if raiders had landed...not that the Radites needed a reason to start exploding things. Brian decided to round up a posse and head in that direction.

* * *

It didn't take the Shadowians long to realize something was very wrong as they trekked across the badlands towards Radio Cavern. Plumes of smoke - bigger, and more, than ever before, rose into the sky; the plumes were a strange greenish color that seemed to bleed into the sky around them. As they got closer, the group realized that beneath the sound of explosions were the continuous drone of sirens and Klaxons. Becoming increasingly worried, they hastened their pace, checking that the safeties on their weapons were off.

As they arrived on the very outskirts of the settlement, they stood dumbfounded at what they saw.

A group of men stood behind a wall of sandbags, watching as a massive sea of green...goop...slowly slithered towards them like some sort of giant, glowing slug. A rather tall man, who Brian immediately recognized as Levi, Radio Cavern's Head Guard, aimed what looked to be a T-9 incendiary launcher towards the mass, then fired, then reloaded. A small rocket blasted from the weapon's barrel, made contact with the goo, and was promptly swallowed whole before it could explode.

"Um, Micah?" Brian said uncertainly, approaching the leader of Radio Cavern from behind. The man was at least a head shorter than him, but carried a sort of uneasy air of unpredictability about him that always had Brian on edge.

Micah turned around, pinching the bridge of his nose while adjusting a pair of goggles over his eyes. The small man glared at Brian, snapping in a faint accent he believed would've been called Britannic on Terra. "What? Can't you see we're in the middle of something here?"

Brian was thrown off by Micah's matter-of-fact tone. "Oh, well, y'see, we saw the smoke and heard the explosions, so...we came to see if you guys were alright."

"Yeah, yeah..." Micha turned back towards the goop and mumbled, "We're just having a little bit of a nuclear meltdown, that's all."

"A what?" Brian asked, genuinely believing he heard wrong.

"A," Micah coughed into his hand, obfuscating his speech. "nuclear meltdown."

"A _what_?"

"A NUCLEAR MELTDOWN OKAY? NOW GO HOME." Micah exploded.

"Micah, calm down! You're causing a scene!" Brian retorted. "Wait, how the hell are you having a nuclear meltdown?! What's nuclear that you have to melt down?"

"Oh." Micah said, scratching the back of his head. "We built a nuclear reactor."

"_What?_"

"Had to put that uranium to use somehow."

"But, how, why, when?!"

"With gum, paperclips, and uranium; cause the panels weren't giving us enough juice; and a couple of weeks ago." Micah shot back, crossing his arms. His crimson jumper was splattered with green.

"What, what is all of that stuff?"

"Nuclear waste." Micah replied bluntly.

"What's it...doing?"

"I dunno. Trying to assimilate the human race? Conquer the rimworld?"

"Why is it _out here?_"

"Yeah...we didn't have anywhere to put it. So it just kinda kept piling up in the reactor room, and piling up, and piling up, until one day, 'boof'!" Micah imitated an explosion with his hands.

"Boof?"

"Boof. Can't destroy the crap either."

Both groups stood in complete silence as the goop continued its advance. Finally, Brian exploded.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? WHY WOULD YOU BUILD A NUCLEAR REACTOR?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Micah said, defensively throwing his hands up.

"A good idea? _When are nuclear reactors ever a good idea_?" Micah shrugged. Brian huffed in frustration. "So, is this stuff going to ooze over to our place?"

"Dunno. Maybe. I'd say we're all radioactive by now."

Brian look up from Micah, taking count of the man's group - less than two dozen men.

"W-weren't there like...fifty people in the RC?"

"Yeah. Now there're eighteen."

"What happened to the others?"

"Goop got'em."

Brian blanched. Micah was a psychopath - no questioning that. Did he really sacrifice thirty people to try and fight radioactive waste? The sound of hoarse shrieks echoed from the cavern.

"Yeeeaaah...um..." Brian began to back away. "We'll...we'll see you around."

"See ya'." Micah answered as Brian's group began to walk away.

The man wiped his brow with a green, glowing sleeve, then shrieked, collapsing backwards, hands over his eyes shouting "THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!".

Yup, those folk from Radio Cavern sure were special.


End file.
